i’ve always been the last one.

last to touch the wall on swim team, last to first kiss a boy, last to get a driver’s license, last to wear makeup and straighten my hair, and last to give up.

i’m starting to think that maybe my history of coming in last has prepped me for what’s up ahead. I started The Girl With No Plan in December of 2019, and after hitting it hard and going all in - slowly over the years, my inspiration started to wane. over time, little by little, my ideas became soggy and the confidence I once had with dressing my body dwindled. it’s hard to keep the faith on a passion project when you see others just soaring past you and your mind tells you to compare yourself. you know? so I let it all slide.

maybe this isn’t what I wanted to create after all? the internet is a harsh place, full of surface level ‘HOT HOT HOT’ and empty compliments. but what if I chose to just focus on the lovely parts it has to offer? the authentic ‘you inspired me to try somethings’, or the digi-friendships that become real life friendship (I see you Payton freaking Smith!)

I realized that’s where I want to be - in the space between coming in last, and never giving up, it’s where i’ve always been. so if you find yourself there too, let’s huddle together, bunker down and keep at it. I think The Girl With No Plan has only just begun, and i’m ready to be the last to quit on her.

p.s. thank you for reading :)